How to make my mother's bathroom safer
You searched that because somebody used the word. Her doctor, maybe, or a pamphlet, or the sentence in your own head at two in the morning. So here's the honest version of the answer: the safest bathroom is the one your mother keeps using. A bathroom she avoids, or uses as little as she can, or waits for you to be in the house before she uses, isn't doing anything for her, whatever's bolted to the walls.
So this isn't a list of things to install. It's the four questions that decide whether she uses the room, and what changes if the answer to any of them is no.
1. Can she get into the shower without stepping over anything?
Look at the edge of the tub or the lip of the shower. That step is crossed twice every time she washes, on wet feet, usually with one hand reaching for something. It's the single hardest thing most bathrooms ask of a body that's changed.
If the answer is no, the fix depends on how far along you are. A bench that straddles the tub edge, so she sits and swings her legs over, is a purchase and works this week. A shower with no step at all is a renovation, and it's a decision about where the drain goes, which has to be made before the plumber arrives. If you're renovating anyway, that's the one to get on the drawing.
2. Is there somewhere to sit?
Standing for the length of a shower is a lot of minutes on a bad day. A seat changes everything about how long she can be in there and whether she's rushing.
A shower chair works now. If the shower is being rebuilt, a built-in bench or a fold-down seat goes where the wall can carry it, which means wood behind the tile, put there while the wall is open. It costs a few dollars then. It costs a second renovation later.
3. What does she grab?
Watch. She grabs something to lower herself onto the toilet and something to get up. She grabs something in the shower when she turns. Right now it's probably the towel bar, the sink, or the shower door. None of those are built to hold her.
A grab bar goes where her hand already goes, into wood, at the height where her hand lands (the standard puts the bar's center at 33 to 36 inches off the floor, STD). It doesn't have to look like a hospital, and there's a whole post on that. But it does have to be where she reaches, which is why you watch first and buy second.
4. Can she see?
Where's the light switch, and can she reach it before she steps in? Is there light in the shower itself, or only in the middle of the ceiling? Is the floor a color she can tell apart from the tub edge? Is there a night light between the bed and the toilet?
These are the cheapest fixes in the room. A switch moved to the doorway. A light over the shower. A plug-in night light tonight. Nobody thinks of them as bathroom safety and they decide more about a three a.m. trip than anything else on this list.
What you can skip
You don't need a diagnosis to answer any of the four questions. You don't need a product list yet. You don't need to decide about remodeling. Sit with her in the bathroom, ask her which part is hard, and watch what she reaches for. Then you have the list, and the list tells you which of the four answers is no.
If your mother is the one who'll use the room, she's the one who answers. A bathroom planned for her without her turns out worse.
If you're renovating
Three of the four answers close early. The step into the shower is a drain decision, made before plumbing. The seat and the grab bars need wood behind the wall, put there while the wall is open. The light over the shower is a wiring decision, made before the ceiling closes. All three are nearly free at the right moment and expensive after.
The free guide, The Decisions Your Renovation Makes Without You, lists what closes at each stage so the right things make it onto the drawing. It's short and set in large print. Sign up and the download is yours.
